20+ inches of snow in one day. Amazing for my neck of the woods. My kids are very excited about the 2 snow days we've had in a row, and actually everyone has behaved pretty well. No cabin fever yet. Luckily I'm able to work from home and I have an employer who is understanding when things like this come up. It sort of feels like time has stopped for 2 days. Can't do anything. Can't go anywhere. No one expects much from you. It's sort of a relief.
However part of me is ready for my normal routine again! I'm not much of a routine person for the most part but I really enjoy my new job and the people I get to hang out with while I'm there. And even though my kids have been pretty good while cooped up for 2 days, I am reminded why I can no longer be a stay at home mom. I'm used to getting to be the person that I am when I'm at work, and enjoy the time away (never thought I'd believe that) from my kids that really does make me feel blessed for the time when I'm with them.
Don't get me wrong. We've enjoyed the extra time together, between working I've played treasure hunt, apples to apples and UNO, as well as more than one Wii sports tournament. Sometimes when I was home full time and the kids would ask me for some attention I'd feel like they were bothering me. I'd have to remind myself why I was at home in the first place. Now that I get some time away on a regular basis to focus on the other parts of me I feel more present and in the moment when I'm with them.
I'm considering a specific segment for my blog called "Mom's Other Life." If I get a few followers I'd like to feature a mom that I know who's not only a mom, but also been able to hold onto the other parts of her identity - something I know a lot of moms struggle with. What mom does in her "other life" is just as important as her mommy life. It helps keep her energized and gives her confidence and strength in herself. I have a few ideas of people in my mind, but feel free to send me more.
So my love/hate relationship with snow days have taught me a few things.
1. It was definitely time for me to go back to work full time. I love being the person I get to be at work, I've grown so much and learned so much there.
2. I am not very good at Wii bowling.
3. Don't feel guilty for being you're own person and making time for who you are; and making sure your kids know that you aren't there to be their constant source of entertainment. But when you are spending time with them, enjoy every minute of it b/c it won't last forever.
Michelline makes no bones about the fact that she's not cut out to be a stay at home mom, for some of the same reasons you mention.
ReplyDeleteI did it for a long time, and I'm blessed to have done it and at the time wouldn't have done it any other way. It was hard, for sure, but I wouldn't trade that time for anything. But I love where I'm at now, too.
ReplyDeleteThere have been times that I've wanted to stay at home with the girls, but I know myself a bit too well. If I stayed at home, I'd be in fights with them all the time! The entire family would be unhappy :)
ReplyDeleteMy daughters know that they're loved. We have our things we like to do together. Libby and I have our own special bedtime ritual that we both cherish. But they both like to come to work with me and see what I do. They've learned that a woman can be a mommy AND have a career.
Most importantly, I hope they've learned that the right choice is the one that makes them happy - whether it's being a SAHM or a Career Mom.
Wow - hot topic lady! Good post. I start to get anxiety just thinking about not be "home" with the kiddos. Not that we are really ever home though, between school, activities, my work. I kwym about needing your "own stuff". I have always had some sort of part time job(s) since Simon was born but I don't know that I will ever have a conventional 9-5 again. I really don't want it. I do love my job, I love the cause, and I love the flexibility. Keep up the good posts!!
ReplyDelete@melissa, I did what you did, always had a part time gig in order to "do my own thing" and I feel like it helped me prepare for what was next. I know lots of moms who will never go back FT, and I can't say that FT is forever for me, but for right now, it feels really right. Just as staying home for 9 years felt really right. Even tho we sacrificed financially, and it is also tough in its own way. I may feel different about it come summer. Never worked FT with kids during the summer :)
ReplyDelete@michelline I was so scared to go back to work, I felt like a dinosaur! luckily I landed a great gig where I feel like I belong. I am glad I made the decision to go back. Altho some people don't understand it. I don't judge, I just do what's right for me.
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